My 46th birthday today....
Woke up this morning to a message from my dear Ms L. She sent me my first birthday greetings at 4.36am! God knows why she woke up that early la.
It's about lunch time as I am writing this entry. So many wishes and hugs and messages from family & friends, far and near. What more can a girl ask??
As I am sitting here, looking out at the magnificent view of the sea and the cruise liner, made me think how blessed my life is. It is a good life...Krishna has blessed me...lots...
I am just thinking, could it be this is my first year without me getting a teddy bear as a birthday gift? My first bear, named conveniently or aptly Teddy was given to me by appa on my 7th birthday, He woke me up at 6.40am, that's my time of birth if you had asked why 6.40am, to give me Teddy and well Teddy has been next to me since then. He is a bit torn and tattered no doubt but he is very much loved.
Ever since Teddy, I have received so many bears that I have lost count of the number of bears in my collection. Should be reaching 200++ I think. Well, a quick count of the bears and softtoys in my office room...15 and I have a feeling I will be adding on to the collection. My passion with my bears...well they have always listened to me whenever I needed someone to listen to me without being judged. My bears helped me with my fear of thunders and lightnings when I was young. They helped me to thwart away the fear of being alone. These bears are part of what defines me...the listening ears, the soft cuddly companions, the comforters on lonely nights....
My life.....my bears.....
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
Sunday, March 19, 2017
"A True Hindu"
"Are you a true Hindu?"
My colleague dragged me to health check organised by someone in the college. I went along thinking that's going to be a legit examination but I was met by a lady who was promoting her supplements, sigh, this has got nothing to do with health talk la!
Anyway, she was very interested in me, who won't be, I am such a good subject to sell any slimming products. The problem was, the lady could not sell me her product, she was not able to convince me with her supplements.
We were having a good conversation when she asked me "are you a true Hindu?" I looked at her and asked her to repeat her question, and yes, she said again, "are you a true Hindu?" I asked her, do you mean to ask me if I am a true Tamilian, she said no, I am asking if you are a true Hindu. I again asked her, are you asking me about my religion or race?
Honestly, I have never been asked if I am a true Hindu. I don't know what it actual means though. Is there any definition who is a Hindu? I believe in my Krishna, I trust in the power of prayers, I beleive in karma, I believe in reincarnation....but all that, does all that make me a true Hindu?
I am the one who eats beef among all other living things, I drink, I welcome open relationship....does all that make me not a true Hindu?
Whatever the lady meant on that day, triggered my journey to understand who is a true Hindu. My knowledge in Hinduism is minimal. I was born in a family who believes in Vinagar, Muruga, Krishna, Shivan, Lakshmi, Saraswathy...and others....and yes, my parents followed rituals they inherited from their parents and I am doing some of the rituals now too. I always liked the freedom in worshiping my "God" the way I want to. There's no fixed mantras nor how many times I have to pray in a day to make me feel I belong to the religion....Hinduism, the way of life....sanathana dharma, , my eternal duty to God. My question always has been, what is my purpose in this world, what is it that God wants me to do? What is my duty? I am still looking for the answers...
Oh yes, back to the lady, when I asked her why is she asking me the question, she told me that the way I speak is different. Oh lord, what now la? How is that my believe in my Maker makes me talk differently from others, especially when I was only talking about diets and exercises!! The lady really made me ponder that evening on what has become to mankind. Do we simply use words without understanding them? Are we that oblivious of whatever we say?
I do have to thank the lady for triggering my brain cells to read more about who is a Hindu. This would be an interesting journey. Imagine, turning 46 and looking for affirmation of my faith.
Krishna, lead the way please.....
My colleague dragged me to health check organised by someone in the college. I went along thinking that's going to be a legit examination but I was met by a lady who was promoting her supplements, sigh, this has got nothing to do with health talk la!
Anyway, she was very interested in me, who won't be, I am such a good subject to sell any slimming products. The problem was, the lady could not sell me her product, she was not able to convince me with her supplements.
We were having a good conversation when she asked me "are you a true Hindu?" I looked at her and asked her to repeat her question, and yes, she said again, "are you a true Hindu?" I asked her, do you mean to ask me if I am a true Tamilian, she said no, I am asking if you are a true Hindu. I again asked her, are you asking me about my religion or race?
Honestly, I have never been asked if I am a true Hindu. I don't know what it actual means though. Is there any definition who is a Hindu? I believe in my Krishna, I trust in the power of prayers, I beleive in karma, I believe in reincarnation....but all that, does all that make me a true Hindu?
I am the one who eats beef among all other living things, I drink, I welcome open relationship....does all that make me not a true Hindu?
 |
| Aum, the ancient symbol |
Whatever the lady meant on that day, triggered my journey to understand who is a true Hindu. My knowledge in Hinduism is minimal. I was born in a family who believes in Vinagar, Muruga, Krishna, Shivan, Lakshmi, Saraswathy...and others....and yes, my parents followed rituals they inherited from their parents and I am doing some of the rituals now too. I always liked the freedom in worshiping my "God" the way I want to. There's no fixed mantras nor how many times I have to pray in a day to make me feel I belong to the religion....Hinduism, the way of life....sanathana dharma, , my eternal duty to God. My question always has been, what is my purpose in this world, what is it that God wants me to do? What is my duty? I am still looking for the answers...
Oh yes, back to the lady, when I asked her why is she asking me the question, she told me that the way I speak is different. Oh lord, what now la? How is that my believe in my Maker makes me talk differently from others, especially when I was only talking about diets and exercises!! The lady really made me ponder that evening on what has become to mankind. Do we simply use words without understanding them? Are we that oblivious of whatever we say?
I do have to thank the lady for triggering my brain cells to read more about who is a Hindu. This would be an interesting journey. Imagine, turning 46 and looking for affirmation of my faith.
Krishna, lead the way please.....
Monday, March 6, 2017
D wedding and my crush
It was a beautiful wedding...
I decided not to be a drama queen on the wedding day. I decided to be happy and I was happy...it was a joyous occasion. The crowd was amazing, lots of chatting and hugging.
I saw him walking in and he had the biggest smile ever seeing me. Yes, my heart skipped a beat, my darling crush, how I wanted to give you a hug...I only managed to talk to him for a short while, was busy looking after the guests. He was as usual sweet and charming and dashing...oh how I wish I could be in his arms!!! I just wanted to tell him everything that is happening in my life at this moment and I want him to comfort me and take me away from all this drama...
Well, back to the wedding scenario, I had aunties & uncles asking where is my husband and kids...I got tired telling them I don't have a husband nor kids. I was hoping then, God, please send me someone, I shall then introduce him as my partner and get done by it. The more I think about it, the more it sounds enchanting...a partner!
My childhood friend was there, lucky his wife could not make it...I had more time to chat with him without feeling the wife going to tear me apart! It was good to catch up with my cousins too..
My Ah Leng was a pleasant surprise, said I looked nice and told me to be careful with my jewels! My typical Ah Leng :) I was lucky to have different set of friends who could mingle with each other and everyone was trying to keep one another company.
Abhi was such a sweetheart...I do believe she likes me :) She was happily playing with me, was laughing in the car when we went for a drive, was playing "what is it" at night and was chatting at the wedding. She can run now! And she can talk, says lots of things, of course nothing much I can understand la but I know for a fact she can say "whatsit"...that I am guessing she picked it up from her patti. And my dear sister, her grandmother, is teaching her how to beat!!
Though I was happy for the married couple, somehow, I missed my brother very much. He would have been so happy to see his youngest daughter married and entering into a new chapter of her life. Sending my niece back to her husband's house was emotional for both her mom and me. We were the only two people who teared when we hugged her. I know this house will always be her grandparents house and the door is always open for her and her husband but somehow, it is just not the same....
Well, two married and two more to go.....
I decided not to be a drama queen on the wedding day. I decided to be happy and I was happy...it was a joyous occasion. The crowd was amazing, lots of chatting and hugging.
I saw him walking in and he had the biggest smile ever seeing me. Yes, my heart skipped a beat, my darling crush, how I wanted to give you a hug...I only managed to talk to him for a short while, was busy looking after the guests. He was as usual sweet and charming and dashing...oh how I wish I could be in his arms!!! I just wanted to tell him everything that is happening in my life at this moment and I want him to comfort me and take me away from all this drama...
Well, back to the wedding scenario, I had aunties & uncles asking where is my husband and kids...I got tired telling them I don't have a husband nor kids. I was hoping then, God, please send me someone, I shall then introduce him as my partner and get done by it. The more I think about it, the more it sounds enchanting...a partner!
My childhood friend was there, lucky his wife could not make it...I had more time to chat with him without feeling the wife going to tear me apart! It was good to catch up with my cousins too..
My Ah Leng was a pleasant surprise, said I looked nice and told me to be careful with my jewels! My typical Ah Leng :) I was lucky to have different set of friends who could mingle with each other and everyone was trying to keep one another company.
Abhi was such a sweetheart...I do believe she likes me :) She was happily playing with me, was laughing in the car when we went for a drive, was playing "what is it" at night and was chatting at the wedding. She can run now! And she can talk, says lots of things, of course nothing much I can understand la but I know for a fact she can say "whatsit"...that I am guessing she picked it up from her patti. And my dear sister, her grandmother, is teaching her how to beat!!
Though I was happy for the married couple, somehow, I missed my brother very much. He would have been so happy to see his youngest daughter married and entering into a new chapter of her life. Sending my niece back to her husband's house was emotional for both her mom and me. We were the only two people who teared when we hugged her. I know this house will always be her grandparents house and the door is always open for her and her husband but somehow, it is just not the same....
Well, two married and two more to go.....
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