Who am I today?

Been asking this question for a long time....

Finally I am satisfied with the answer to this question. Who am I? I am a lady, happy, contended and sure of myself today. I was looking for a float to hang on to but today, now, I am free and I am floating by myself. I have no issues to settle in my life anymore and I am really looking forward to my everyday living.

Life is promising, everyday is promising. I have things lined up to do, I am happy planning and I have no complaints about anything. My everyday stuff is enjoyable. I wake up in the morning feeling refreshed, there is a new me in me, feels like I just woke up from a dream and my reality is great.

Even when I am writing this post I am asking myself am I in denial? Am I fooling myself? Am I pressing some issues? And the answer to them all is a big NO. I am just happy being me. It is not that I am not bothered about what others think of me or of my attitude or personality, I am just okay to accept others opinion without feeling bad about it.

I am glad I am having this realization at this age, I have so much to look forward to....

Bali

I fell in love....

Bali was just beautiful. My timing was just right! I was in Uluwatu, a beautiful scenic place...a temple on a cliff and I was there at sunset. It was purely timing...the sun was setting on one side and the moon was rising on the opposite direction. It was a full moon....supposed to be the super moon, Chitra pournami and oh my god...words can never do justice on the beauty of that moment. I wished time could just stand still...Krshna, thank you for that moment..even now, when I close my eyes, I can see it all so clearly in my mind!

Everything was beautiful about Bali, I loved the sea, the hills, the rides and most importantly, I loved the people there. It was cute when they asked if I am Indian and I said I am Malaysian and the next question was if I am a Hindu. Balinese are really nice people, mostly Hindus and they have a beautiful religious faith, which is so unlike ours eventhough we are worshiping the same 'Gods'. When I asked if they name their child Saraswathy or Shiva, the answer was no, for them, if you are named after the Goddess, you have to carry the name with utmost honour and pride and you have to live up to the honour given, and being mere human, it is an uphill battle to be divine!

I liked the fact that I was totally relaxed and could walk around without the fear I was going to be robbed. My guide was nice, friendly and very informational. He knew what I liked and my photography session was made easy coz he knew what I liked!

There is so much more to discover about Bali...as what GR said, it would be nice to take a year off and be in this island and live with these people and learn how to have this unconditional faith to my maker! Of course a year sounds not possible, perhaps a month or the least 2 weeks....most likely I will be going to Bali again, not sure soon but surely one day in the future!

Bali, please don't loose your charm....am coming back to you.....

My evening out

Went out for dinner with V...

V and I do make it a point to go out once a month. We talk about what's happening in our lives and try to make sense with our surroundings. Last night, I picked V at about 7.30pm and we went to a kopitiam. We were talking about everything and the topic came to about her husband and his relationship with his mom.

V asked for my opinion as she felt that her husband's way of thinking was very similar to mine, she was telling me what happened and she was surprised when I reacted the same way as her husband...we then came to a conclusion, both her husband and I just want to be excepted by our mothers.

It is very difficult for me to settle this issue that I have about my mom. As I told V, am I a bad daughter for the way I feel for my mom...and for that she asked me if I have any guilty feelings or do I feel I have done anything wrong towards my mom, it took me a while to answer her as I was going through my mind who am I when it comes to my mom... was I a filial daughter? Did I execute my responsibility as a daughter to my parents. I do know to a certain extend that I am not such a bad daughter but was I a good one? I donno how to answer that, both my parents are not here to tell me if they are proud of me or if I have done my duty as a daughter..

V did say that she can see that I have made my self okay when it comes to Kutty but not with my mom. It will take time...I might one day be at peace with my mom...

Krshna, like I told V last nite, I am thankful with all that you have given to me. I am focusing on everything that I have and being grateful for that, I have stopped seeking for what I don't have and wishing for them. You have been kind to me Krshna, you have sent amazing people into my life who have taught me lessons that have enriched my experience of living on this earth today....

My past is past....my present is beautiful...my future is promising....

True love

Got this in the mail and this is beautifully said...

To love and to be loved is indeed God's blessing...

Hamlet & Marc Anthony

This is my Hamlet and Marc Anthony. I was trying this out for a training I was doing for my college staff in Langkawi last year using CC. Looking back at the photo, I do miss my Hammy. Juliet's new puppies are adorable as well and there is one guy who looks just like Hamlet...thinking now...should I keep one of the new puppy???




Hamlet is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.