I am scared

I donno what is going to happen to me.....

I am scared of May 8th. I am trying to tell myself I will be okay but I am just not convinced...I just could not convince myself I will be okay...this is hard...

I tot I stopped crying but this past week, my tears are just flowing so easily...I am really lost, I donno what I am suppose to think or how I am suppose to deal with this...I am confused with my feelings....I know this is the next step but nothing prepared me for this...am I suppose to be sad or am I suppose to be okay with this?

I donno what I am fighting....I donno...but I know I am sad....I just know that I am sad and I donno who I want to comfort me....why am I crying? Krshna please tell me what to do....I am crying now...and the sad thing is I donno why am I crying....I have lost Kutty long time back...I donno why I am crying now but I am crying.....

Can I have appa now, I just want to put my head on his laps and sleep there....

Krshna, please help me....