Baby

I want to have a baby...

I am thinking about this for the past 1 week...it is not that I have never tot about this at all, just that I know if I want to have a baby, I better be doing it fast...

I asked doc whether I am going crazy or being dumb for even thinking about this...my doc was not a big help :-) He said it is an excellent idea but asked if I am sure or not and asked me to consider it seriously. I told doc that I tot about it and I am sure I am able to handle the responsibility and that I have all the love to shower on my child and financially I am stable as well...and most of all, I am ready to have a baby in my life...but the only problem is about choosing the guy to have my baby with...when doc suggested about adoption...

It is not that I do not want to adopt but I always wanted to experience the feeling of being pregnant...I want to carry a child for 9 months...I want to be bonded to my baby...I want to tell stories...sing...dance...with my baby while she is in my womb...I want to just love my baby from the day I know of her existence...

My only regret in life is not to have a baby...there was once I was talking to P and she said, the thing she was very surprised with me was when I decided not to have a child with Kutty coz she said from the day she knew me all I wanted was to have a baby.....

I donno why Krshna did not want me to have my own baby...I donno if he tot I would have spoilt a life...I do beleive Krshna knows best and there must be a reason why I was not able to carry a baby...now comes to this question...what is Krshna's big plan for me?