Krshna came to my house on Saturday.....
It was the 3rd Saturday for Purtassi and I invited 3 families for prayers and lunch at the house. The first family had 2 sons, an 8 year old and a 4 year old and of course the 4 yr old is my favorite guy. His birthday is on 21st of March, 1 day before mine and we both get along very well.
The second family, has a baby boy, 10 months old and this cute little guy really kept jumping to come to me. I am not sure if he was attracted to my red blouse or he just wanted to be with me. He was so cute and adorable.
The third family has a daughter who is 1 year and 10 months old and yes, she came to me as she wanted to play with the dogs.
My 4 yr old boy went to the kitchen and took the appalam before prayers and his mom was feeling so guilty but for me, I thought, Krshna has blessed my prayers, He actually came for lunch... somehow I know I feel right in my heart.
This is life... simple and happy....
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Want or Need?
Dimple walla asked me this question....
I am going on a roller coaster ride on my emotions yet again, this time around it is about having a baby. Oh Krshna, why am I like this? Why do I want something so much in life knowing that it is not possible?
I was talking to some friends and I had mix reactions, a group that says go for it and another group saying no. My abang was telling me to just go and find out every detail possible.. we were talking and I was telling him about how I feel selfish if I am going to have a child on my own..
Anyway, I know the only person I wanted to talk to then was to dimple walla. I did and that is what he asked me, is it a need or a want and I could not answer him. Why was it so difficult to answer this question? Why am I so confused of what I want and what I need? Is having a child a need or a want and what is the difference between these two? Only Dimple walla would be able to do this to me.... ask me questions to make me think from outside my box or my comfort zone...
He was not in favor of IVF, Dimple walla kept telling me to find a partner and have a baby the natural way... I have no idea why he is so sure that I will be with someone 1 day when even I do not have that hope... He told me to follow some steps and to my surprise, I am actually doing it. All I have to do now is to wait and see... who knows, his way might actually work ;-)
End of the day, am still asking, is it a need or a want??
I am going on a roller coaster ride on my emotions yet again, this time around it is about having a baby. Oh Krshna, why am I like this? Why do I want something so much in life knowing that it is not possible?
I was talking to some friends and I had mix reactions, a group that says go for it and another group saying no. My abang was telling me to just go and find out every detail possible.. we were talking and I was telling him about how I feel selfish if I am going to have a child on my own..
Anyway, I know the only person I wanted to talk to then was to dimple walla. I did and that is what he asked me, is it a need or a want and I could not answer him. Why was it so difficult to answer this question? Why am I so confused of what I want and what I need? Is having a child a need or a want and what is the difference between these two? Only Dimple walla would be able to do this to me.... ask me questions to make me think from outside my box or my comfort zone...
He was not in favor of IVF, Dimple walla kept telling me to find a partner and have a baby the natural way... I have no idea why he is so sure that I will be with someone 1 day when even I do not have that hope... He told me to follow some steps and to my surprise, I am actually doing it. All I have to do now is to wait and see... who knows, his way might actually work ;-)
End of the day, am still asking, is it a need or a want??
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Selfish
I am selfish....
This is my conclusion on myself on 16th September as I was driving to P's house for lunch. How I came upon this conclusion? I was thinking, which is not something out of the norm.. but anyway, I was thinking why I wanted to have a baby? This issue arised because of 2 happenings, first dimple walla's brother had a baby girl and he sent me a 1 day photo of hers... second was the news from chettiar, he is getting married.....
Anyway, when I was trying to answer the question, I realised I wanted to have a baby for myself, I wanted someone to belong to me, I wanted to doll up a child, I wanted to see my baby grow and become a lady, I wanted to give my baby everything.... that was when I stopped myself from thinking and reaslised that I am so selfish... it is all about my happiness that I am looking at... I was not thinking from the child's view on what she is going to get out of this...
What is wrong with me? I donno if all married couples think before having a child why they want to have one! When I told this to doc, he said I am not being selfish, I am just naturally a woman who has this maternalistic desire to have a child. When I asked Chettiar why he had a child, he said a child completes the family...
This made me think further, does it mean, not have a child means the family is not complete? Then why do people marry? For wanting a child? As I was telling someone, I want to marry a guy because I want to be with him and that is the only reason, it is not for having a child, it is not for security, it is not for my future that someone will take care of me.... I just want to marry someone for this moment, I want to be with him, I want to be in love with him, I want to laugh with him, I want to share my feelings with him and I want to do all these with him now.....
Is this right or.....
This is my conclusion on myself on 16th September as I was driving to P's house for lunch. How I came upon this conclusion? I was thinking, which is not something out of the norm.. but anyway, I was thinking why I wanted to have a baby? This issue arised because of 2 happenings, first dimple walla's brother had a baby girl and he sent me a 1 day photo of hers... second was the news from chettiar, he is getting married.....
Anyway, when I was trying to answer the question, I realised I wanted to have a baby for myself, I wanted someone to belong to me, I wanted to doll up a child, I wanted to see my baby grow and become a lady, I wanted to give my baby everything.... that was when I stopped myself from thinking and reaslised that I am so selfish... it is all about my happiness that I am looking at... I was not thinking from the child's view on what she is going to get out of this...
What is wrong with me? I donno if all married couples think before having a child why they want to have one! When I told this to doc, he said I am not being selfish, I am just naturally a woman who has this maternalistic desire to have a child. When I asked Chettiar why he had a child, he said a child completes the family...
This made me think further, does it mean, not have a child means the family is not complete? Then why do people marry? For wanting a child? As I was telling someone, I want to marry a guy because I want to be with him and that is the only reason, it is not for having a child, it is not for security, it is not for my future that someone will take care of me.... I just want to marry someone for this moment, I want to be with him, I want to be in love with him, I want to laugh with him, I want to share my feelings with him and I want to do all these with him now.....
Is this right or.....
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
JJ
I met JJ today......
He is an adorable baby....just 3 weeks old and he is going to be a stunner....I am always so happy when I see a baby and JJ was not an exception. Met PM today and she was complaining of not being able to loose weight....told her not to worry and I as usual just fell in love with JJ.
I said thanks to PM for naming her son JJ :-) sounds just like my name kan?
Well another good news is my other friend S is expecting her 1st baby.......I told doc that I am going to be an aunt to so many people.....how nice......how wonderful.......
He is an adorable baby....just 3 weeks old and he is going to be a stunner....I am always so happy when I see a baby and JJ was not an exception. Met PM today and she was complaining of not being able to loose weight....told her not to worry and I as usual just fell in love with JJ.
I said thanks to PM for naming her son JJ :-) sounds just like my name kan?
Well another good news is my other friend S is expecting her 1st baby.......I told doc that I am going to be an aunt to so many people.....how nice......how wonderful.......
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Baby
I want to have a baby...
I am thinking about this for the past 1 week...it is not that I have never tot about this at all, just that I know if I want to have a baby, I better be doing it fast...
I asked doc whether I am going crazy or being dumb for even thinking about this...my doc was not a big help :-) He said it is an excellent idea but asked if I am sure or not and asked me to consider it seriously. I told doc that I tot about it and I am sure I am able to handle the responsibility and that I have all the love to shower on my child and financially I am stable as well...and most of all, I am ready to have a baby in my life...but the only problem is about choosing the guy to have my baby with...when doc suggested about adoption...
It is not that I do not want to adopt but I always wanted to experience the feeling of being pregnant...I want to carry a child for 9 months...I want to be bonded to my baby...I want to tell stories...sing...dance...with my baby while she is in my womb...I want to just love my baby from the day I know of her existence...
My only regret in life is not to have a baby...there was once I was talking to P and she said, the thing she was very surprised with me was when I decided not to have a child with Kutty coz she said from the day she knew me all I wanted was to have a baby.....
I donno why Krshna did not want me to have my own baby...I donno if he tot I would have spoilt a life...I do beleive Krshna knows best and there must be a reason why I was not able to carry a baby...now comes to this question...what is Krshna's big plan for me?
I am thinking about this for the past 1 week...it is not that I have never tot about this at all, just that I know if I want to have a baby, I better be doing it fast...
I asked doc whether I am going crazy or being dumb for even thinking about this...my doc was not a big help :-) He said it is an excellent idea but asked if I am sure or not and asked me to consider it seriously. I told doc that I tot about it and I am sure I am able to handle the responsibility and that I have all the love to shower on my child and financially I am stable as well...and most of all, I am ready to have a baby in my life...but the only problem is about choosing the guy to have my baby with...when doc suggested about adoption...
It is not that I do not want to adopt but I always wanted to experience the feeling of being pregnant...I want to carry a child for 9 months...I want to be bonded to my baby...I want to tell stories...sing...dance...with my baby while she is in my womb...I want to just love my baby from the day I know of her existence...
My only regret in life is not to have a baby...there was once I was talking to P and she said, the thing she was very surprised with me was when I decided not to have a child with Kutty coz she said from the day she knew me all I wanted was to have a baby.....
I donno why Krshna did not want me to have my own baby...I donno if he tot I would have spoilt a life...I do beleive Krshna knows best and there must be a reason why I was not able to carry a baby...now comes to this question...what is Krshna's big plan for me?
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