Selfish

I am selfish....

This is my conclusion on myself on 16th September as I was driving to P's house for lunch. How I came upon this conclusion? I was thinking, which is not something out of the norm.. but anyway, I was thinking why I wanted to have a baby? This issue arised because of 2 happenings, first dimple walla's brother had a baby girl and he sent me a 1 day photo of hers... second was the news from chettiar, he is getting married.....

Anyway, when I was trying to answer the question, I realised I wanted to have a baby for myself, I wanted someone to belong to me, I wanted to doll up a child, I wanted to see my baby grow and become a lady, I wanted to give my baby everything.... that was when I stopped myself from thinking and reaslised that I am so selfish... it is all about my happiness that I am looking at... I was not thinking from the child's view on what she is going to get out of this...

What is wrong with me? I donno if all married couples think before having a child why they want to have one! When I told this to doc, he said I am not being selfish, I am just naturally a woman who has this maternalistic desire to have a child. When I asked Chettiar why he had a child, he said a child completes the family...

This made me think further, does it mean, not have a child means the family is not complete? Then why do people marry? For wanting a child? As I was telling someone, I want to marry a guy because I want to be with him and that is the only reason, it is not for having a child, it is not for security, it is not for my future that someone will take care of me.... I just want to marry someone for this moment, I want to be with him, I want to be in love with him, I want to laugh with him, I want to share my feelings with him and I want to do all these with him now.....

Is this right or.....