I met Mr n Mrs B for Raya....
It was so nice to meet both these people...after seeing my doc, I took the train again and after 3 stops, I was in Kelana Jaya and when I was coming down the train, I saw Mr B waiting for me and he had the biggest smile on his face and it really brightened up my day...my day had started very well ... meeting my doc...and now meeting Mr n Mrs B.
Off we went to their house and Mrs B was talking non-stop...oh ya...the moment I entered the car, I received a gift... a teddy bear from Austria....he has a knitted top with I love Austria printed on it.....cute.......
Mr B took me on a grand tour of the whole taman, the security guards know him...I had the front, back and side view of his house...my boss :-)
Well the house is lovely, very quiet as there were no one else...we just sat and talked...Mr B said that now he sees me smiling from my heart and he said he is happy to see me now...it is like my appa telling me that he is happy to see me smilling... thank god I did not cry but getting Mr B's nod meant alot to me.
Mrs B asked why I did not come earlier and I told her I met a friend and she caught on to that and she started asking about my doc. I kept telling her tat my doc is a good friend, and she was going on and on about why not marry him if he is a good guy, where is he staying, what is he doing and all that kind of questions a mother would ask... I was trying to answer her as much as possible and kept telling her that there is nothing going on or is going to happen till I could not take it and looked for Mr B to save me...he just shook his head and said he could do nothing as when his wife gets into that mode, noone can be saved!! He apologised on her behalf.....she was adorable...
Both the Macb's were fasting and about 2.30ish, I got hungry and asked her to feed me...Mr B made a hug cup of tea, Mrs B cut some fruits and we just adjourned to the dining and we were chatting there.. it was really nice being with both of them...
After their Asar prayers, Mr B said I should make a move as he does not want me to go home late as I will be taking the trains. Both of them came to the train station and just before I got down, Mrs B asked for my doc's name....I asked why? she said she wanted to put him in her prayers so that I will end up marrying him :-) I told Mrs B that it is very sweet of her to do so but told her no, she can't have doc's name but instead I told her, just pray that I meet someone nice and right and that would be good enough...
I was smilling and carrying the teddy bear and I did get looks when I was waiting for the train... I reached home and akka like the bear as well. Later in the evening I noticed the bear had a flower on his shirt and it was an edelweiss and that's when I decided to name my bear Edelweiss... I messaged Mr B and he was happy with the name..... he said I was a surprise but a pleasant surprise...
My Monday was spent with 3 wonderful people, my doc and the Macbs....people who mean alot in my life, people who are very supportive and people whom I will treasure till my memory would loose me....
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Monday morning
I woke up early on Monday morning........
I am meeting my doc... and yes, I am excited...I told doc I could come to Taman Jaya station, now to get there, I have to take 2 trains, first the Star LRT from Sri Petaling and change at Masjid Jamek and take the Putra LRT. Sounds easy right? nope, not with my family....mama was telling me to be very careful, asked me to walk nearer to people, my nephew was worse still, he wanted to send me to where doc was suppose to pick me up...
I told my nephew, the moment I am in the car with my friend I will call him and I did that the moment I went into doc's car... ohh I loved the train rides...doc made me guilty as he mesagged me saying he was already waiting when the train just started moving at Sri Petaling...
Doc was waiting for me at the station and the first thing he did was to give me a hug...I did not feel ackward...but I do wish the hug was longer. We went to starbucks and I had my mocha latte whislt doc had his chocolate drink. We just chatted... I was telling doc about abang's wife and about the fear of leaving your family and coming to another country and all that stuff when doc told about how young his mom was when she married his dad and came to Malaysia...to a country where she does not know anyone nor the language...she was so young...that made me think hard about sacrifices people make...about their courage...about their strength...battles of each and everyone of us is so different but end of the day everyone of us have to face the unknown...
I had a very pleasant time with my doc...I thought of giving him a kiss on his cheeks when I got down the car but somehow I did not do that..why or what stopped me, I have no idea about it...I like my doc and I do love my doc and I do not want to spoil the way we are now...friends...priceless...
Doc....sorry for keeping you waiting the other day but thanks for asking me to come....been a while since anyone asked me to come.....
I am meeting my doc... and yes, I am excited...I told doc I could come to Taman Jaya station, now to get there, I have to take 2 trains, first the Star LRT from Sri Petaling and change at Masjid Jamek and take the Putra LRT. Sounds easy right? nope, not with my family....mama was telling me to be very careful, asked me to walk nearer to people, my nephew was worse still, he wanted to send me to where doc was suppose to pick me up...
I told my nephew, the moment I am in the car with my friend I will call him and I did that the moment I went into doc's car... ohh I loved the train rides...doc made me guilty as he mesagged me saying he was already waiting when the train just started moving at Sri Petaling...
Doc was waiting for me at the station and the first thing he did was to give me a hug...I did not feel ackward...but I do wish the hug was longer. We went to starbucks and I had my mocha latte whislt doc had his chocolate drink. We just chatted... I was telling doc about abang's wife and about the fear of leaving your family and coming to another country and all that stuff when doc told about how young his mom was when she married his dad and came to Malaysia...to a country where she does not know anyone nor the language...she was so young...that made me think hard about sacrifices people make...about their courage...about their strength...battles of each and everyone of us is so different but end of the day everyone of us have to face the unknown...
I had a very pleasant time with my doc...I thought of giving him a kiss on his cheeks when I got down the car but somehow I did not do that..why or what stopped me, I have no idea about it...I like my doc and I do love my doc and I do not want to spoil the way we are now...friends...priceless...
Doc....sorry for keeping you waiting the other day but thanks for asking me to come....been a while since anyone asked me to come.....
My trip
Went to KL for the Raya holidays...
Saturday morning was hectic...P picked me up and off we went to her apartment to meet the guys who were going to do her bathroom ceiling...done with them, we went off to Lunas. On the way there, abang's wife called saying he is napping...so stopover at P's mom's place and had lovely coffee and thosai...
P dropped me off at abang's place and from there, we had to detour to Jawi as we had to meet abang's brother who will also be driving to KL. Over at their house, someone asked if Syafana (abang's princess) is getting a baju kurung when her mom answered no...Syafana is going to be in pavadai chattai...she said she is still Indian and somehow I could understand her well..
The trip was good, I was enjoying the view....finally someone else was driving and I was sitting at the back and playing with Syafana as well.. Somewhere near Tapah, abang asked me to take over, he wanted to sleep....
The moment I took over, abang slept off and it was just his wife and I were talking and that's when I really got to know her better... it was a very pleasant trip, I enjoyed the company and I enjoyed the trip...
The following days....now that is something to write about too :-)
Saturday morning was hectic...P picked me up and off we went to her apartment to meet the guys who were going to do her bathroom ceiling...done with them, we went off to Lunas. On the way there, abang's wife called saying he is napping...so stopover at P's mom's place and had lovely coffee and thosai...
P dropped me off at abang's place and from there, we had to detour to Jawi as we had to meet abang's brother who will also be driving to KL. Over at their house, someone asked if Syafana (abang's princess) is getting a baju kurung when her mom answered no...Syafana is going to be in pavadai chattai...she said she is still Indian and somehow I could understand her well..
The trip was good, I was enjoying the view....finally someone else was driving and I was sitting at the back and playing with Syafana as well.. Somewhere near Tapah, abang asked me to take over, he wanted to sleep....
The moment I took over, abang slept off and it was just his wife and I were talking and that's when I really got to know her better... it was a very pleasant trip, I enjoyed the company and I enjoyed the trip...
The following days....now that is something to write about too :-)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Waiting
I am waiting.....
This is a good wait... :-). Yesterday as I was chatting with doc, we were talking about all kinds of nonsense and doc playfully said why not I make a trip to KL and I was actually thinking about it and then I told doc, yeah, why not? I was going to look for a bus ticket and went straight to my abang and told him that I might miss Friday's scrabble....
Abang is also going to KL and he offered me a lift...yeap....I am going to KL on Saturday morning and I am meeting my doc on Monday morning and I am all excited meeting doc again....I did ask doc to give me a hug and he said yes :-) and I am seriously looking forward to a hug...I have been asking for hugs and am getting all the virtual hugs from doc for a while now and it is about time I get a real hug...
At this moment, I am happy.... I am actually looking forward to meeting doc as well as my sister and her family. My sis when I called to ask if I can come over, her first words...pls come...we shall cook and eat :-) I have no idea what is wrong with her but I guess she must be bored eating what she cooks....
I am waiting for Saturday now...... I do hope doc is not going to get cold feet :-)
See you soon doc........
This is a good wait... :-). Yesterday as I was chatting with doc, we were talking about all kinds of nonsense and doc playfully said why not I make a trip to KL and I was actually thinking about it and then I told doc, yeah, why not? I was going to look for a bus ticket and went straight to my abang and told him that I might miss Friday's scrabble....
Abang is also going to KL and he offered me a lift...yeap....I am going to KL on Saturday morning and I am meeting my doc on Monday morning and I am all excited meeting doc again....I did ask doc to give me a hug and he said yes :-) and I am seriously looking forward to a hug...I have been asking for hugs and am getting all the virtual hugs from doc for a while now and it is about time I get a real hug...
At this moment, I am happy.... I am actually looking forward to meeting doc as well as my sister and her family. My sis when I called to ask if I can come over, her first words...pls come...we shall cook and eat :-) I have no idea what is wrong with her but I guess she must be bored eating what she cooks....
I am waiting for Saturday now...... I do hope doc is not going to get cold feet :-)
See you soon doc........
Sangeeta Hope
My baby girl's name.......
I always wanted to name my baby girl Sangeeta and baby boy Sanjaya....just recently, I wanted to add Hope behind Sangeeta's name. Why hope? I have so much hope about this life and at one time, I lost that hope....until now, I find that hope is back in my everyday living...what I am hoping for I have no idea but somehow I know I am hoping...
The nite when I realised I wanted to name my baby Sangeeta Hope, I was so happy. The next morning went to work and I announced to everyone that I am naming my daughter Sangeeta Hope....my abang was happy for me and so did the others....
I told doc too about Sangeeta Hope, he said good and then I made doc promise me something...told him that if I do not get a real Sangeeta Hope in my life, doc is going to get me a teddy bear and I am going to call her Sangeeta Hope......doc, if u r reading this...remember you promised me :-)
Krshna, can you please send me a Sangeeta Hope....you know I will love her more than anyone else in this world.....perhaps even more than you Krshna......
I always wanted to name my baby girl Sangeeta and baby boy Sanjaya....just recently, I wanted to add Hope behind Sangeeta's name. Why hope? I have so much hope about this life and at one time, I lost that hope....until now, I find that hope is back in my everyday living...what I am hoping for I have no idea but somehow I know I am hoping...
The nite when I realised I wanted to name my baby Sangeeta Hope, I was so happy. The next morning went to work and I announced to everyone that I am naming my daughter Sangeeta Hope....my abang was happy for me and so did the others....
I told doc too about Sangeeta Hope, he said good and then I made doc promise me something...told him that if I do not get a real Sangeeta Hope in my life, doc is going to get me a teddy bear and I am going to call her Sangeeta Hope......doc, if u r reading this...remember you promised me :-)
Krshna, can you please send me a Sangeeta Hope....you know I will love her more than anyone else in this world.....perhaps even more than you Krshna......
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Missing something
I know I miss something......
Since Friday, I felt that I am missing something and this feeling went on till yesterday when I finally snapped out of it...
I just miss being in someone's arms, I just wanted to be held close to someone's heart and with his arms around me......he does not have to tell that everything will be fine, all he has to do is just to hold me close and never let me go till I fall asleep...
How did I manage to snap out of it? I just told myself that this is not going to happen.... no matter how much I miss this or want this or need this, I know it is not going to happen and the sooner I get out from these thoughts, the faster I will be able to function as myself...
I asked doc if this is wrong to think or feel and how does everyone cope??? Doc did not have an answer to my question, he said it is normal to feel this way... hmmm...I am now wondering how doc handles this feeling .... for him to know and for me never to find out I guess :-)
Anyway, it was nice, nice to be in love....but nowadays, I have lost all hope that this feeling will ever be in my life again... on Saturday, my partner, D, asked me why not I marry again.....I just told him that I am not able to trust another guy with my heart, love n life.... he said may be not now but one day, this might happen...
I am not sure whether what D says will happen or not, but at this moment I know it is not happening and the only thing I know is that I am sleeping alone in my bed every night and I know there is not going to be anyone holding me in their arms anywhere near the future....
Last nite while talking to Krshna, I asked him why did he awaken all these emotions? What is he trying to tell me? I am yet to find the answer.....Krshna, hopefully you will give me the answers later tonight....
Since Friday, I felt that I am missing something and this feeling went on till yesterday when I finally snapped out of it...
I just miss being in someone's arms, I just wanted to be held close to someone's heart and with his arms around me......he does not have to tell that everything will be fine, all he has to do is just to hold me close and never let me go till I fall asleep...
How did I manage to snap out of it? I just told myself that this is not going to happen.... no matter how much I miss this or want this or need this, I know it is not going to happen and the sooner I get out from these thoughts, the faster I will be able to function as myself...
I asked doc if this is wrong to think or feel and how does everyone cope??? Doc did not have an answer to my question, he said it is normal to feel this way... hmmm...I am now wondering how doc handles this feeling .... for him to know and for me never to find out I guess :-)
Anyway, it was nice, nice to be in love....but nowadays, I have lost all hope that this feeling will ever be in my life again... on Saturday, my partner, D, asked me why not I marry again.....I just told him that I am not able to trust another guy with my heart, love n life.... he said may be not now but one day, this might happen...
I am not sure whether what D says will happen or not, but at this moment I know it is not happening and the only thing I know is that I am sleeping alone in my bed every night and I know there is not going to be anyone holding me in their arms anywhere near the future....
Last nite while talking to Krshna, I asked him why did he awaken all these emotions? What is he trying to tell me? I am yet to find the answer.....Krshna, hopefully you will give me the answers later tonight....
Missing my doc
Doc went missing....
My doc went to Singapore for 4 days and I missed him so much on the chat. I wanted to message him but stopped myself from doing that as I know doc will have to pay more to receive the messages...
Earlier doc went to Sabah and I thought I won't be hearing from him for a week but thank god, doc msged while he was at his meetings...now I am wondering what was doc doing? sure not paying attention in his meetings la tu ;-) bad doc.....
I am not sure if it is already a year since I found my doc but it sure feels I have known him all my life. It is so easy to talk to my doc, talk about anything......he just does not laugh at all the silly things I talk, from clouds, to my romeo and juliet, to even issues on hugs, kisses and intimacy...
I am chatting with doc now as I am writing this entry.... and he said that he hope he did not disappoint me....God, doc is one person in life who did not let me down....I met him when I was going through a very tough time in life......he gave me support that may be he never realised how important it was. I still have an sms from doc, I asked him if I will be okay when I found out the divorce was final, his reply " you will be more than ok...u will be better". Doc I read the sms each time I feel down, I know at least you have faith in me when I start loosing faith in myself...
I would like to make a toast.......to a friendship.....that is beautiful, loving, unconditional....to my doc......love u loads.....hugs......
My doc went to Singapore for 4 days and I missed him so much on the chat. I wanted to message him but stopped myself from doing that as I know doc will have to pay more to receive the messages...
Earlier doc went to Sabah and I thought I won't be hearing from him for a week but thank god, doc msged while he was at his meetings...now I am wondering what was doc doing? sure not paying attention in his meetings la tu ;-) bad doc.....
I am not sure if it is already a year since I found my doc but it sure feels I have known him all my life. It is so easy to talk to my doc, talk about anything......he just does not laugh at all the silly things I talk, from clouds, to my romeo and juliet, to even issues on hugs, kisses and intimacy...
I am chatting with doc now as I am writing this entry.... and he said that he hope he did not disappoint me....God, doc is one person in life who did not let me down....I met him when I was going through a very tough time in life......he gave me support that may be he never realised how important it was. I still have an sms from doc, I asked him if I will be okay when I found out the divorce was final, his reply " you will be more than ok...u will be better". Doc I read the sms each time I feel down, I know at least you have faith in me when I start loosing faith in myself...
I would like to make a toast.......to a friendship.....that is beautiful, loving, unconditional....to my doc......love u loads.....hugs......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)