Missing something

I know I miss something......

Since Friday, I felt that I am missing something and this feeling went on till yesterday when I finally snapped out of it...

I just miss being in someone's arms, I just wanted to be held close to someone's heart and with his arms around me......he does not have to tell that everything will be fine, all he has to do is just to hold me close and never let me go till I fall asleep...

How did I manage to snap out of it? I just told myself that this is not going to happen.... no matter how much I miss this or want this or need this, I know it is not going to happen and the sooner I get out from these thoughts, the faster I will be able to function as myself...

I asked doc if this is wrong to think or feel and how does everyone cope??? Doc did not have an answer to my question, he said it is normal to feel this way... hmmm...I am now wondering how doc handles this feeling .... for him to know and for me never to find out I guess :-)

Anyway, it was nice, nice to be in love....but nowadays, I have lost all hope that this feeling will ever be in my life again... on Saturday, my partner, D, asked me why not I marry again.....I just told him that I am not able to trust another guy with my heart, love n life.... he said may be not now but one day, this might happen...

I am not sure whether what D says will happen or not, but at this moment I know it is not happening and the only thing I know is that I am sleeping alone in my bed every night and I know there is not going to be anyone holding me in their arms anywhere near the future....

Last nite while talking to Krshna, I asked him why did he awaken all these emotions? What is he trying to tell me? I am yet to find the answer.....Krshna, hopefully you will give me the answers later tonight....