Mrs Mosquitoes and I have a very good relationship, somehow, I seem to be able to attract them very well, whether or not I attract any guys I seem to be able to attract these blood sucking ladies....
Well, this is a hate relationship since young, mosquitoes find me easily, I can be in a room with many people but then I am the only one that will be bitten and I have this nasty habit of once bitten, I get itchy all over and won't be okay for some time.
These few nites, been having sleepless nites, mental stress as my doc said, well added on to that is this love-hate relationships with mrs mosquitoes.
Last nite in a span of 3 hours, I managed to kill 8 mosquitoes, it just feels like my house is infested by them at this moment....sigh
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The Meeting
I met the lawyer today, I was good, did not shed a single tears, but the moment I was in the car, I messaged doc first and I was crying and crying for a good 10 minutes. I donno why I messaged doc first, I knew I was going to meet P, so besides P, it was doc who came into my mind...I wanted to call my soon to be ex-hubby, but I know he was sleeping...he came home late last nite.
The lawyer was kind of nice to talk to...I am sure he tot I must be a crazy fool for being me...but then again, this is me...
I was just on the phone with him, told him all tat happened with the lawyer this evening and I told him that I just wanted to talk to him when I came out from the lawyer's office, I actually told that to my doc as well...I just wanted to be with my soon to be ex....
He said don't worry, he is there for me.......God Lord, what is wrong with the 2 of us? We don't sound like 2 people getting a divorce...
Watever it is, I donno if he is going to be there for me in the future, but at least I know 1 thing for sure, I have memories of 7 yrs to last me my life time...
The lawyer was kind of nice to talk to...I am sure he tot I must be a crazy fool for being me...but then again, this is me...
I was just on the phone with him, told him all tat happened with the lawyer this evening and I told him that I just wanted to talk to him when I came out from the lawyer's office, I actually told that to my doc as well...I just wanted to be with my soon to be ex....
He said don't worry, he is there for me.......God Lord, what is wrong with the 2 of us? We don't sound like 2 people getting a divorce...
Watever it is, I donno if he is going to be there for me in the future, but at least I know 1 thing for sure, I have memories of 7 yrs to last me my life time...
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The End
I meet my husband 7 years ago today and today I called the lawyer to end my marriage to him...
What is this? What has happened in the past 7 years? Lots and the most I can remember were tears....buckets and buckets of it.
As I was talking to P last nite, she told me, that I am the person who does watever my heart desires and now I know, this is wat my heart desires, to be out from this mockery of a marriage my "better half" has made it to be.
I am a strong beleiver of romance, love and marriages and feelings n ....yes, I am the softie, I am the romantic fool but sadly, I was in a relationship where the guy did not feel all these, not even a bit.
It was funny today, he told me "I have never loved anyone else like I love you"...but alas, this is also the guy who married another girl and fathered a child and on top of that had an affair as well....
He asked me what I am going to do with a divorce from him....told him that I just want to move on with my life, I want to concentrate in my studies, I want to do whatever I want to do...
He just could not beleive that I will actually move on, that I will actually meet someone and I will fall in love with anyone...
He admits tat he is selfish, he said he did not want to loose me and all that he learnt about love was from me...the funny thing was, he never said all those before this, why now? I know the answer to that, he just did not want to have any problems, he is scared that this will have an impact in his life or more like his life without me.
Well, I am very sure of 1 thing now, I am sure I want to be out, out from this madness and just move on.
I have no idea how I will be in the future, whether I am going to be alone or whether I will be with someone who loves me as I love him but I am sure I will be okay.
Regrets? no....I beleive everything happens for a reason....
Krshna, hold my hand please, support me please, this part of the path is a bit rough, I am scared that I might tumble and fall and if I do, I know your angels will be there to help me up....but Krshna, please don't leave me now as I need you most now....
What is this? What has happened in the past 7 years? Lots and the most I can remember were tears....buckets and buckets of it.
As I was talking to P last nite, she told me, that I am the person who does watever my heart desires and now I know, this is wat my heart desires, to be out from this mockery of a marriage my "better half" has made it to be.
I am a strong beleiver of romance, love and marriages and feelings n ....yes, I am the softie, I am the romantic fool but sadly, I was in a relationship where the guy did not feel all these, not even a bit.
It was funny today, he told me "I have never loved anyone else like I love you"...but alas, this is also the guy who married another girl and fathered a child and on top of that had an affair as well....
He asked me what I am going to do with a divorce from him....told him that I just want to move on with my life, I want to concentrate in my studies, I want to do whatever I want to do...
He just could not beleive that I will actually move on, that I will actually meet someone and I will fall in love with anyone...
He admits tat he is selfish, he said he did not want to loose me and all that he learnt about love was from me...the funny thing was, he never said all those before this, why now? I know the answer to that, he just did not want to have any problems, he is scared that this will have an impact in his life or more like his life without me.
Well, I am very sure of 1 thing now, I am sure I want to be out, out from this madness and just move on.
I have no idea how I will be in the future, whether I am going to be alone or whether I will be with someone who loves me as I love him but I am sure I will be okay.
Regrets? no....I beleive everything happens for a reason....
Krshna, hold my hand please, support me please, this part of the path is a bit rough, I am scared that I might tumble and fall and if I do, I know your angels will be there to help me up....but Krshna, please don't leave me now as I need you most now....
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Poem
I read this in a blog and I tot it was too nice not to be included here......
Niem”ller spoke out, and for his trouble was incarcerated in the Sachsenhausen and Dachau concentration camps from 1937 to 1945, and very nearly executed. While incarcerated, Niem”ller wrote a poem:
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Niem”ller spoke out, and for his trouble was incarcerated in the Sachsenhausen and Dachau concentration camps from 1937 to 1945, and very nearly executed. While incarcerated, Niem”ller wrote a poem:
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Song
I love singing........whether I can carry a tune, I have no idea but I love to sing.....
This is a song I've been listening for some time now but did not know from which movie till P told me.......the words are very beautiful.......
Sollama Chinnama sollama chellama
Manasodu pesum neram thaane
oh Kasodhu sattam ketkaleye
the way the singer sang the song was so pretty, and I as usuall, fell in love tunggang terbalik :-)
Oh god, I can't be falling in love so easily can I? but then again that's just me!
This is a song I've been listening for some time now but did not know from which movie till P told me.......the words are very beautiful.......
Sollama Chinnama sollama chellama
Manasodu pesum neram thaane
oh Kasodhu sattam ketkaleye
the way the singer sang the song was so pretty, and I as usuall, fell in love tunggang terbalik :-)
Oh god, I can't be falling in love so easily can I? but then again that's just me!
Dinner
It has been long since I dressed up for dinner and last nite, I went out for dinner and I did dress up.
I wore a black blouse and black pants (the ones I fell in love with) and I matched it with silver accessories, silver bangles, silver earings, white gold chain........
I carried a clack handbag and I wore heels........
Why I did all that? I have no idea, it was not to impress my dinner date, it was for myself, I wanted to be noticed, I wanted to feel good and I wanted someone telling me I look good.
I had a pleasant evening, enjoyed the company, enjoyed the food and I enjoyed the songs as well.
I like getting dressed and going out and I am going to make it a must do thing in my monthly activity. Next week, I will be meeting Dumbo and gang and I m going to dress up.
Told P that on 13th Feb, we shall dine out in style.........I want to pamper myself :-)
I wore a black blouse and black pants (the ones I fell in love with) and I matched it with silver accessories, silver bangles, silver earings, white gold chain........
I carried a clack handbag and I wore heels........
Why I did all that? I have no idea, it was not to impress my dinner date, it was for myself, I wanted to be noticed, I wanted to feel good and I wanted someone telling me I look good.
I had a pleasant evening, enjoyed the company, enjoyed the food and I enjoyed the songs as well.
I like getting dressed and going out and I am going to make it a must do thing in my monthly activity. Next week, I will be meeting Dumbo and gang and I m going to dress up.
Told P that on 13th Feb, we shall dine out in style.........I want to pamper myself :-)
Monday, January 19, 2009
Brother n Sister ...Love & Hate Relationship
U know how brothers and sisters are? Sometimes at each other's throat and at times the best of buddies... well this is the tale of my good friend and her colleague.
These two sometimes will be at logger heads and the next moment I know they will be going out for lunch or tea and having a good time talking as if nothing happened. According to my friend, it is a love and hate relationship....according to me, peas in a pod!!
Well, for me, I am enjoying all these tantrums and get-together..... I am just waiting to see when the next argument is coming :-)
These two sometimes will be at logger heads and the next moment I know they will be going out for lunch or tea and having a good time talking as if nothing happened. According to my friend, it is a love and hate relationship....according to me, peas in a pod!!
Well, for me, I am enjoying all these tantrums and get-together..... I am just waiting to see when the next argument is coming :-)
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