A J

The first guy who proposed marriage to me....

I got to know AJ when he was in Scotland...it was 1995.....I was planning to go to Glasgow to do my masters and when I surfed for info, I came across Uni of Strathclyde... I mailed their student support and received an email from AJ...and that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship...

AJ was a sweet Delhi-walla who was doing his Masters in International Business, he was single and he was nice...we wrote emails initially till he went back to Delhi and our emails became snail mails and we write...both of us...and when I mean by writing, I am talking about receiving aletter 8 or 10 pages long and I will match the length as well...

We really got to know each other well during those years of writing...we have never spoken on the phone... 1 day, AJ's work took him to Jakarta and from Jakarta he flew to Bangkok and later back home. It was in Bangkok airport that he called me...I was just entering my house when the phone rang and I guess I was shocked to know it was him...we spoke for a while...I was quiet...yeap...that was seriously not me!! He told me that when flying from Jakarta to Bangkok, he knew he was passing Penang and he was wishing that the plane would just stopover in Penang...he was sweet...

He went back to Delhi and the next thing I knew, I recieved an express mail...he was asking for my jathagam...he had told his family his intention to marry me...he calls me his international bride...it was 1997..I just lost my appa...and I could not bring myself to leave my family to be with him...I was young..scared of the unknown...new language, new people...and I said no...

End of 1997, I went to South India and the moment I set foot in Chennai, I called him...I will tell him where I will be staying and will give my hotel details and I know in the evening he will call me and we will talk for hours...whenever possible, I will call him...I got very familiar with STDs in South India..I will look for them whereever we went...from Ooty to Mysore to Tanjavoor... he kept telling me to come to Delhi...just take a flight and come and meet my family...that is what he told me....

In Feb 1998, he got married to a girl of his family's choice...nope...it did not break my heart...I love AJ but at the same time I knew I won't fit into his environment....

I did meet him...in 1999...the moment I saw him...I received a big hug....I know how much we loved each other.... his wife was not with him at that time, she was back in her mom's house...it was good to have met him...eventhough we did not say anything to each other but we knew we had something special...his mom was scared that we would do something...so she will always send a chaperone :-)

Anyway, lots of things happened in our lives.... till today we are good friends.....I know if he is okay or not by just looking at the hello in his mails....he will always send me an email the moment I think about him and somehow I know something is not right with him in my heart....

A couple of months back.....he made me cry.... he said he knew how we felt for each other but alas it was not meant to be.....I know that too......if he asked me now if I will marry him.....the answer will be......yes, without a single doubt in my heart and mind........