One by one

I am letting go one by one...

First I started to let go Kutty by deciding to get the divorce...I removed the thalli and minji and my pottu on the forehead.....next I did was to stop calling him, he still calls me everyday but once in a while he goes missing for a couple of days but I still don't call him or eagerly wait for his calls.....

Then I threw away the photo.....discarded the thalli....and last night....I finally told him not to call me everyday anymore as it is difficult for me to handle the whole situation. I know he is happy...happy that his life is perfect....and I am happy for him but at the same time I am not able to handle that as it hurts me as well...am I jealous? no...I am just sad as I don't have anyone in my life and he was the one in my life and that makes me cry.....

I asked P this morning, will our lives be okay? She said yeah, we will cry more than we will laugh but we will be okay.... that's when I told her that I want to do something... I want to look forward to an occassion every month....this month, it is going to be her house warming, am going to tie my orange saree, wear the orange earings n orange bangles ( doc said I would look bright :-), December am looking forward to my trip to Singapore and meeting Mrs Choo....as for November I told P I shall have my fling/affair :-)

I need a reason to wake up every morning and to look forward to something....and this is what I have decided to do to heal myself from this heartache....I donno if this will work or not but I told myself...no harm in trying.....