Miserable Friday

I had a tough Friday.....

I was basically crying the whole of Friday, it is Diwali the next day and I am feeling sad as I don't have anyone in my life....it just got overwhelming...the feeling that I am all alone in this world...that's the reason I decided to call my friends over for lunch...at least something to look forward to...something to cook... a reason to wake up and get dressed!!

Affair asked me to go over to his place in NT but I finished work late on Friday and on top of that, I was not in the mood to go anywhere... I called him on my way back and he said he was waiting for me since 5pm...I felt bad, I asked him if he wants me to come now, he said no, it is late... he asked me what is wrong when I told him that I know I am all alone in this world, he asked me to repeat my statement, I told him again the same thing, and for the 3rd time he asked me to say it again...it irritated me and I asked can't you hear what I am saying? He said no, it is not that, he told me to stop talking to him if I keep saying I have no one in this world...it caught me by surprise, he was sweet indeed.... I did tell him that he does not belong to me and vice versa and that is not what I am looking for in him...he said he knows that....he said no one is alone in this world....he was trying to cheer me up.....yes, as what P told me, he was being very sweet...

I was sad.....Kutty did not call me for 3 days and all I was thinking....Krshna, of all the things I told him, this is the only 1 he is following....I am hopeless...I don't deny that for a moment...