DW & Deepavali

This is a long overdue post....

My dimple walla was here for Deepavali and I actually asked him if he wants to meet. He said yes for dinner but not at home. As usual dinner at 9 became supper at midnight. He called to ask if I still want to meet, I asked him back does he want to? 

Well he picked me up after midnite and we went to Pelita. I knew he wanted to tell me something....he was disturbed. It took him 3 hrs to open up...finally...it was hard to be in his position. All I could tell him then was that he was just dumb and he should live his life....people change...surroundings change....we just have to change and adapt....the past will always be there but we need to live this moment...

It was funny, after he told me his side of the story, he asked why I never asked him about his past, I just said thatI will wait till you want to tell me and today seemed to be the right day for you to do so. Friendship..it takes years to build the trust....I trusted him immediately but my dimple walla took his time to trust me back.....

Anyway, it was very weird when he suddenly asked me to remove my glass at the wee hours of the morning at Pelita, it was 3.10am. I told that I'm practically blind without them but knowing my dimple walla I did remove my glasses. He just sat there and looked into my eyes. I donno if he was looking for answers or clues or inspirations...😄

I didn't ask him if he found what he was seeking in my soul...I have a very messed up dimple walla. I wish I'm able to help him but I know him, he needs to do this on his own, no matter what anyone tells him, till he is ready he won't listen. I know coz I see me in him. 

To dimple walla, I'm always here...a friend  who can be your shoulder to lean on....

Thinking...

It's not an easy task...thinking I mean...

I am being asked lots of questions regarding to CK. As usual he is the latest topic of our chats n analysis n review. Each time I meet a guy, the whole lot of people In my life get together to discuss about it. Do I need to keep some parts of my life private? 

Anyway back to CK...question today was where am I heading with him. My honest answer, no where at this moment. I enjoy my chats with him. I enjoy the text messages throughtout the day. It's nice to be in someone's thoughts. I miss the attention. I miss the flirtation. I miss the chats and now CK is here providing me all that. 

Where is this going?? It all depends on him. I'm ok as a friend. Do I expect more him? I donno...perhaps yes...and emotional tie... I hv my dimple walla for the conversations and advises but I can't get the emotional dependency from him...he can't be there for me whenever I want him....there are the restrictions and rules that we have to abide, it's not his fault nor mine, it's just how the world works....

I will always cherish all the moments I have had with all these people whose paths I have crossed. I do hope CK  is a keeper...he sings to me, what more does a girl need :-)

I like the fact I'm very truthful to CK. I tell him how I feel for him or how I feel for the moment. This is me. I like that I can say whatever that is happening around me. I actually don't fear of him misinterpreting my words...I like this new maturity in the relationship. It feels free to be able to express yourself without caring that you would be judged by my words...

Is CK bringing back my memories of being with kutty? I donno. But it was the freedome of me talking to kutty about anything and everything was the force of my relationship with him. I was not shy, I was not holding back, I was myself...

CK is coming this weekend...that's the acid test. Is he going to sprint or is he going to stay....

CK

He called me for the first time on Sunday last week...

I have not been involved with anyone seriously for a while now. I actually stopped looking for a partner. All these changed when I went to KL last week to visit sister. She was down with dengue fever. Being there, I saw the intimacy, the love, the concern both she and mama had for each other. May be they can't see it, but at that moment I knew I wanted someone in my life. 

I have always told myself that it want to be with someone but it was not a serious thought. Anyway, that Saturday night I told Krishna I'm serious now. Send me someone.....this someone came to my life on Sunday night, precisely at 10.12pm. He called me and introduced himself and I had no clue who he was. We started talking...it was a long conversation...6 hours to be precise!

CK could sing...he freaked me out coz he sang the exact songs I was thinking in my mind. I like him. He is fun to talk. He sings. He is polite enough to tell me my Tamil is not that bad! How is this going to go?I don't know. I like the way I'm with him.

Krishna you know what's best for me. I do want a companion. Someone to love and care. Send him to me please.....and make it soon too