My second year going through this date....
It was 7 years back... yesterday I was doing everything possible to get myself not to think about it, I went for a movie and while watching the movie my mind was still thinking about my life. I was not asking what went wrong, I was not thinking what I would have done differently if I knew I was going to be alone on this day, 7 years later... my mind just did not know what to think and that was what I was thinking... how much sense is in this, I have no idea but this is what happened to me the whole of yesterday...
I managed to hang on, it was at the end of the day when I was talking to my chettiar that I asked him to tell me that I will be ok... I just need to hear the words... somehow that is something important for me... no matter how much I tell myself I will be ok, I just need the assurance from another person...
I am going to face many more 28 of Julys in my life and probably I will be the same as I was this year... I have no idea if there will be a day without me thinking about Kutty... a day without me thinking about life... a day when it will all be really really ok....
I am happy now but why is it in my heart I am questionning myself if I am reallyhappy or am I am just saying it? I don't need anyone else to doubt me, I doubt myself! Hopefully end of the day... all will be well....
No comments:
Post a Comment