A K

A K is someone I have been chatting recently...

My dimple walla/starbucks introduced me to the dating site sometime back and I have been on the site once in a while. I think A K was chatting with me for over 6 months. He was different. Never asked for my number or never suggested to meet even though he was only from SP.

I took my own sweet time to get to know him and only a couple of months back we exchanged phone number and we were chatting via whatsapp. He was ok, nothing out of the ordinary. Anyway, about a couple of weeks ago, we started to call each other and I used to talk to him in English and he will converse in Tamil. He kept asking me to speak in Tamil and I told him I will once I am comfortable with him.

The thing is, last week, I was in a very low moment in life, figuring out what I want in this world and feeling all lonely and suggested to him to meet for coffee. He agreed. I was surprised. I didn't think he would want to meet me.

A K is the total opposite of me. He speaks only Tamil, does not flirt, does not understand what I say, does not read between the lines, he does not initiate the conversation but something in him is interesting. When it was time to go home, he asked me if I am ok to see him again. I said yes, do tell if you are free on a weekend, and I am free we shall meet. He looked at me and said, just answer my question, I said yes, if our weekends are free, we shall meet for lunch and I went on to explain to him. He stopped me and asked again the same question and said just give me a yes or no answer. For once, I was taken aback. This guy is not who is saying he is. I looked at him and said yes, and our evening ended with a handshake!

Last week he found out he will be going to Mentakab for 5 months. I don't know why, I was sad. I liked chatting with this guy, I look forward to his call. He tells me about his work, his mom, his sister, just everyday stuff and nothing serious but I caught myself missing his calls for the past 2 days. It hit me, I have let someone into my life, that is something I am not willing to do... no attachment. I don't want to be vulnerable, I don't want to feel.

The thing that surprised me most was, A K is not my kind of a guy.....life is funny...To A K who left a brief footprint in my life, thank you. You made me realize that I am not as strong as I want to be, I have to build a stronger wall to protect my heart from being hurt. I don't want to feel love, it is not meant for me...