A conflict?

Why this conflict in me?

I have always been the person who just follows my heart in whatever I do. I don't listen much to my brains/mind when it comes to matters of emotions. I am truly level headed and solely listen to my mind/brains when it comes to studies and work and I find that my heart does not play much a role here..

Well, now to the conflict, it is whether I should stop chatting with this one human being or should I just continue on...I told myself never to be emotionally tied to anyone after my relationship ended with Kutty, my ex. At this moment, it is not really emotional dependence I have with this person, it is just that I text him and I do wait for a reply, I even went to the extent of giving him a different message tone..customized the tone, so that I would know he had answered. I am the one who text him in the morning, chat with him in the afternoon and tell him good night which is added with a hug and love you.

I don't know why I am questioning myself with my routine with him now. Why am I asking "why am I the one who is always starting the conversation". I was asking this question over the past two days, why can't he be the one who says good morning first, why can't he be the one who misses me. Why can't he be the one who says good night with a hug and a love you? Why is it me doing all the talking?

When that thought came into my mind, I stopped and asked, why am I treating him a notch higher than the rest? Why am I having this conflict between my heart and my mind? Is this what I want? Why am I being so calculative?

I am able to answer all the questions, but, I am not ready to hear my own answers...

So for now, until my brain takes control of the situation, I am letting my heart rule...

I need to have my talk with my Upperwalla...