It was appa's prayers. Went to the Bayan Baru Shivan temple for the first time. It was spacious and airy and loved the colour. Saw an uncle from my childhood, he was surprised to see me and looked at the vilaku I was carrying, told him it is appa's prayers, his 22nd year of passing. The uncle touched my head and said bless you. It was really gentle...
When I was praying, my mind was on something else. I needed some form of affirmation, asked both appa and Upperwalla to give me a sign, red flowers means A and yellow flowers means B. I was praying hard for an answer and was honestly anticipating what flowers the priest was going to giveme....and I was stunned to receive both the red and yellow flowers!! I was in a daze on what just had happened, thus looked at the Aunty next to me, to confirm if she had received both colour flowers as well but she only received one coloured flowers. It was then dawned to me what happened and I burst out laughing. Both my appa and Upperwalla are having fun with me. I went around the temple with a big grin, telling them both how mischievous they are!
This is a first for me, not crying in the temple as I go around thinking about appa and how much I miss him...may be he didn't want me to cry anymore on that day...
Came home and I was on my own, cooked and got everything ready by mid afternoon. I prayed and KA arrived just in time. When I went to take the food offered to appa, I saw half of the garland fell just before the food. I told myself appa came and I was in a good mood. KA finished eating when Thambi came. He was surprised I could cook..hahaha...while Thambi ate, KA made herself comfy and dozed off on my sofa. When she got up we had tea and coffee and chatted, she kept me occupied.
It was late night when I went to shower and I saw a beautiful green moth. I told EB I saw a moth, he said appa has come and that was when I started crying and crying....I told EB I have never said I love you to my appa, old school parents, never showed any display of emotions. I asked EB if my appa will approve of me, be proud of me. I did not turn out like my sisters, they are married and with their family and here I am on my own and doing whatever nonsense I am doing without anyone telling me to behave.....
I miss you appa, miss you very much...
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