I have decided...
This decision was made last night...I am going to be an actor. A happy face for everyone. A happy facade. That is what the world expects from me. I just have to be there for everyone and I should not expect anyone to be here for me.
It is not a selfish world... it is just my world. Perhaps my problems are not as great as others but then again, for me, my problems are such a burden...it's as heavy as Atlas carrying earth on his shoulders. I need to clear my muddled mind, I need to understand that my problems are mine to handle, I shall and should not seek for others to understand and comprehend my situation and to offer me a shoulder to cry or to lean on.
What am I going to do then? I am going to write here, I am going to express my hurt, my sadness, my loneliness, my desperate need for human touch..... I shall use these pages as the shoulder that I am searching for. It just dawned to me, no one is willing to listen, no one is willing to understand, no one wants a drama queen in their midst!
As DW said, life will go on and must go on....my question is why? Why must life go on?
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