Beyond me

I am beyond you....

Ahhh...this was the statement uttered to me by CK. He felt he was way beyond me in this life. He said I am still holding on to love and attachment and he is going away from all of that. My only question was, why are you here then? Why did you come up all the way from KL to meet me when you think you don't want the attachment nor commitment or anything of that sort?

It is really surprising, I was not asking for an attachment, I was not asking for a commitment, God forbid I ask for marriage and yet someone can tell me that he is above me. I just had to smile at that moment... he is the one who is so attached to his children and his material world. I admit I am looking for love, at least, at this moment in life, I am allowing people to enter into my life. All I want is just to talk to someone, just blabber everything, looking for that friend that I have access to anytime of the day.

A told me that I have already found a man who understands me, unfortunately, he is married! It was actually SB that I called when I reached home after my conversation with CK. I called SB demanding him to be here, right this moment, to be my friend....and then I started crying. I told him I am disappointed with mankind. I told him no one is beyond anyone, I told him why do people hurt other people. He just scolded me, told me not to let anyone define me nor let anyone make me cry. I have grown up so much SB, you yourself can see the difference in me now since I have met you years back.

I am okay now, okay to hope again. I am sure there is someone out there that Krshna has picked for me....