Fear

Been having this tot since yesterday...

An idle mind is the devil's playground......well true....finished all my assignments for this module last nite and I had time for myself when I started thinking...I know this is bad...I should stop thinking!!

Well I was thinking about being all alone in this world.....ending up by myself, I mean, now itself I know I am on my own but I still want to have this hope that I will be with someone in the future, but donno why last nite I thought I am going to be all alone in this life...no one to share my love with...no one to laugh with...no one to lean on to...basically...no one...

Was asking my doc today, why do I have this fear in me...doc told me to take 1 day at a time, yes, that is a good idea, let me conquer each day at a time....but...is that possible? Another thing I asked myself and doc...am I in denial about my own feelings, I am happy, I am at peace but is this real or am I fooling myself?

I know me, I ask myself too many questions about life, I wonder if everyone does that or is it just me? I wonder how my doc handles his life...day by day? How do I do that? At least I know at this moment, I am much much better off...even I am amazed with my achievement ( I know I deserve a pat on my back :-) ) but what is this life?

Is this what life is suppose to be? No answers? Is there any wiseman out there who can tell me what is life all about...doc...my wiseman...advice pls.....

Doc did respond to me over the chat and this is wat he shared with me:
"the question is ...what is life suppose to be??
ok here it goes ...life is nothing but a dream..a dream wbich u dont wake up..nothing u experience here is real ..only thing real is god ..when we die..we change the dream ..how our life will be is determined by our actions in this dream ..so nothing is real ..just as u lie asleep ..and wake up tmrw ..so is this life .. it doesnt have to make sense"

I told doc, he is the first one to tell me that life is senseless as this is how I feel..I know one thing, I need a few more sessions with doc to understand life from his perspective!