New beginnings

After a long time, I chatted with someone today who made me feel different. It started as a normal casual chat but at the end of the 3 hours of chatting, I was left feeling very special. Lots of feelings that I forgot came rushing in and I really liked them all...

I donno if this is good or not but I am not going to analyse them now...I am going to enjoy how I feel and I have decided that I want to be just happy...

Here's for a new beginning....

Selvvi's wedding

I was going through my entries when I noticed that I have been writing too many sad things in it and I felt that I have to liven it up...

This is a picture taken during Selvvi's reception. I wish her well, I pray everyday that she will be happy always as I want her to be happy...

May God bless you always Selvvi....

I matter

I am still angry and upset with myself while I am writing this.

Please let me make this statement: I will never say that you have not done anything for me. You have done a great thing for me, to show me love but at the same time, you also showed me betrayal, which is something very difficult for me to forget.

I won't claim that you had not taken me anywhere but compared to the time I was with you and ur wife and girlfriend were with you, I beleive you took them to more places compared to taking me anywhere. And you know something, I have all the right to ask you these questions too, why you did not take me to places but you can take everyone else to whereever you want to go.

I still remember clearly when you took your new bride to show her off to your colleagues n friends, you went to bird park, dinners, etc...and that hurts and still hurts and will go on hurting till the day i die..

no matter how much you say or do, my broken heart can never be mended back to the same. the cracks are still there. u can ask me why i m still with you then, answer, i still love you and i just don't know how to live without you..but you, i know u can move on ...well the truth is...u have moved on...u have another wife and a girlfriend to top it up....i m not saying wat u r doing is wrong, who am i to judge u...

all i want is just love and to belong to someone, i want to be in someone's plans, i want to be the one waiting for my husband to come home to eat the food i cooked with love..i want to have a few kids, i want to be there to grow old together with the man i love..i want to do all that...i know u want to do that too but not with me, with someone else...and knowing that hurts everyday...

i know i will pass from this feeling, but at this moment, i know i m crying and for me tat matters...

Let me be

I am tired..tired of being what everyone else wants me to be. I have done lots of things in life, lots of mistakes, lots of right things and I do live my life...and I am happy to be me...and I do wish everyone lets me be me.

What is so wrong if I made a wrong choice, what is so wrong if I choose the wrong path, what is wrong if I married the wrong guy or what is wrong if I bought the wrong car? Why can't I be making my mistakes? How else will I know what is life? If everything that everyone does is the right thing, how do they know the sweetness, the pleasure of being out from one's mistake? When and how do they know the meaning of success when they have not failed?

Well the reason for this entry today is because I am tired of people telling me what I should do when I don't ask for their opinions. I am tired of people looking down on me for the path I have chosen in my journey to live my life.

I do admit..I am foolish, careless, passionate, dumb...but this is me and please...let me be..

Vacation

Yep, went to Athens and Istanbul and it was a beautiful experience. Loved so many things there...roses, weather, strawberries, trams, cherries, coffee and....

But I realised something, I was not in joy, not entirely....why? I donno....comes back to my theory...nothing matters!!

Nothing matters

I donno what is wrong with me these days....I am begining to feel and think that nothing really matters in this world.

I donno why I am feeling this way but I noticed that at the end of the day, no one actually bothers.

I donno what is happening..I donno what had come to me..

I do know....nothing matters...

Books

I have been given the mandate to write books by my friends...and these are the titles:

i. How to get rid of your mil

ii. How to loose weight and stay healthy

iii. Chapters of my life

iv. How to marry and get rid of ur husband

See the type of friends I am hanging out with!!!