I matter

I am still angry and upset with myself while I am writing this.

Please let me make this statement: I will never say that you have not done anything for me. You have done a great thing for me, to show me love but at the same time, you also showed me betrayal, which is something very difficult for me to forget.

I won't claim that you had not taken me anywhere but compared to the time I was with you and ur wife and girlfriend were with you, I beleive you took them to more places compared to taking me anywhere. And you know something, I have all the right to ask you these questions too, why you did not take me to places but you can take everyone else to whereever you want to go.

I still remember clearly when you took your new bride to show her off to your colleagues n friends, you went to bird park, dinners, etc...and that hurts and still hurts and will go on hurting till the day i die..

no matter how much you say or do, my broken heart can never be mended back to the same. the cracks are still there. u can ask me why i m still with you then, answer, i still love you and i just don't know how to live without you..but you, i know u can move on ...well the truth is...u have moved on...u have another wife and a girlfriend to top it up....i m not saying wat u r doing is wrong, who am i to judge u...

all i want is just love and to belong to someone, i want to be in someone's plans, i want to be the one waiting for my husband to come home to eat the food i cooked with love..i want to have a few kids, i want to be there to grow old together with the man i love..i want to do all that...i know u want to do that too but not with me, with someone else...and knowing that hurts everyday...

i know i will pass from this feeling, but at this moment, i know i m crying and for me tat matters...