Went out for dinner with V...
V and I do make it a point to go out once a month. We talk about what's happening in our lives and try to make sense with our surroundings. Last night, I picked V at about 7.30pm and we went to a kopitiam. We were talking about everything and the topic came to about her husband and his relationship with his mom.
V asked for my opinion as she felt that her husband's way of thinking was very similar to mine, she was telling me what happened and she was surprised when I reacted the same way as her husband...we then came to a conclusion, both her husband and I just want to be excepted by our mothers.
It is very difficult for me to settle this issue that I have about my mom. As I told V, am I a bad daughter for the way I feel for my mom...and for that she asked me if I have any guilty feelings or do I feel I have done anything wrong towards my mom, it took me a while to answer her as I was going through my mind who am I when it comes to my mom... was I a filial daughter? Did I execute my responsibility as a daughter to my parents. I do know to a certain extend that I am not such a bad daughter but was I a good one? I donno how to answer that, both my parents are not here to tell me if they are proud of me or if I have done my duty as a daughter..
V did say that she can see that I have made my self okay when it comes to Kutty but not with my mom. It will take time...I might one day be at peace with my mom...
Krshna, like I told V last nite, I am thankful with all that you have given to me. I am focusing on everything that I have and being grateful for that, I have stopped seeking for what I don't have and wishing for them. You have been kind to me Krshna, you have sent amazing people into my life who have taught me lessons that have enriched my experience of living on this earth today....
My past is past....my present is beautiful...my future is promising....
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