Silence

Been silent for a long time now. Been through alot as well...probably the reason for my silence...

I am starting back...my life.... somehow, whatever I went through in my life for the past 6 years seems to be a dream and I am finally waking up from that dream. I am trying hard not to face reality but I know it is about time I stop hiding behind this blanket called love!!

I think I am going through a healing process now, I have mourned and I have griefed and now I think I am starting on a new journey.

This is tough, 6 years of my life I spent it on lies...lies to make everyone else happy but me. I do think that the lies I told made my family made them think I was happy...why did I do this, so that the man I loved so much will be in the good books and so that I could save a bit of dignity.

I know what I did was not worth it but then I again I did coz I was desperate for love..I wanted to belong to someone, it was vry important to me but alas I married a person who thought my love was not enough, my dedication was not enough as he had to marry someone else of his family's choice.

He felt what he did was justifiable, I should understand and I would understand and I tried to understand...because of love, I tried my very best to understand and accept it. I wanted very little in my marriage, just for him to love me and be there for me but alas I did not get what I wanted.

I hoped and I prayed that he will always think of me as I thought his love for me was as strong as mine was for him...

I will never blame anyone for this, I was a victim, so was the other girl....

I will remain silent about this injustice as I found out, not many out there understands the pain I am going through!