The one person who totally accepted me as who I am and never once told me to be otherwise was my appa. He just knew I was different, different from the others, he knew I was the rebel, the one who talked too much, the one who keeps asking all kinds of questions and also the one who showed my emotions openly.
Everyone will say their appa is the best appa and I am never ever going to refute that coz that is the truth. My appa was special in his own way too. That man had patience like a saint! of which non of his children inherited!
I honestly wish I could have done more for him. I didn't have the chance. He left too soon. I just started working and was also still studying, money was something that I didn't have. I never took him for a holiday, not for any fine dining...noting much. Today, when I am able to do all these, he is not here and how I wish I can do something for him...
I was reading all the father's day wishes on fb and all the advertisements and what not, and that made me more sad. As I am writing this, I am crying, I miss him yes, but I think there's more behind these tears. I wish you are here appa, I wish I have a chance to tell you I love you, I wish I can tell you what is in my mind, I wish we can go for our drives, I wish we can eat durians, I wish I can show who I am now....
Would you be happy of who I am today appa? Would you be proud to call me your daughter? Would you still love me knowing all the mistakes I have done in life? Would you approve of my choices in life?
Appa, please stop my tears....
